tribe/m

Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Glenn Sat, July 2, 2005 - 3:21 AM by Glenn

I love the voice Billy West uses for this big lug. The clueless arrogance, oily pseudo-charm, and the witless, remorseless bungling come shining through. It's damn-near perfect. Billy's the best.

"Kif, I've made it (or was it 'mated'?) with a woman!"

"I have a very...sexy...problem..."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Leanne Sat, July 2, 2005 - 4:06 AM by Leanne

i always thought it was "made it"

Did you mean his very sexy learning disorder, sex-lexia? hahaha


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Glenn Sat, July 2, 2005 - 4:21 AM by Glenn

Sex-lexia? I guess so.

*Hee Hee Hee Hee!* (says I, in a Bender-like giggle)

Either that, or Leela had a problem he deemed 'sexy'.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Sat, July 2, 2005 - 11:09 PM by Unsubsc...

My all-time fave is....


"If we can hit that bull's-eye,
the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.
Checkmate!"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Kerzo Sun, July 3, 2005 - 10:23 PM by Kerzo

"You disgust me....go on"

"Where's the little umbrella Kif? That's what makes it a Scotch on the rocks!"

"Let's see how friendly you get when you're sharing a prison cell!"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Cam Sun, July 3, 2005 - 11:04 PM by Cam

"Yes, comets! The icebergs of the sky, By jackknifing from one to the next at breakneck speed, we might just get some kinda gravity boost.....Or something."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Tri Tue, July 5, 2005 - 11:59 AM by Tri

"I've always thought the most sensual part of a woman was the boobies."

"That's the problem with Neutrals - you never know where you stand. Damn them and their neutrality."

"Would you like some sham-pag-nee-ah?"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Wed, July 6, 2005 - 9:58 AM by Unsubsc...

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

mike Wed, July 6, 2005 - 8:24 PM by mike

"I'll have two steaks, and the ladies will each have a very sensual salad with a very low-fat sensual dressing.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Tri Thu, July 7, 2005 - 8:35 AM by Tri

"I am the man with no name. Zap Brannigan, at your service."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

sponge Fri, July 8, 2005 - 1:56 AM by sponge

dammit Tri! you stole my favorite one!

well, a close second is then

"The quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents'. Have sex with them and you're in."

from the same episode...


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

sponge Fri, July 8, 2005 - 1:59 AM by sponge

oh - and this bit always gets me...

Zapp: Kif, get me ten cases of Pert and Popular.

Kif: What shall I do with your Jergens, sir?

Zapp: Squirt it on some homeless man with dry elbows.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Tri Fri, July 8, 2005 - 8:51 AM by Tri

that's a great one - always good when he brings in Kif for some strange request like...

"...but paper covers rock and rock crushes scissors... kif, we have a conundrum. get me some paper, a rock and some scissors."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Hernari Sat, February 11, 2006 - 3:03 PM by Hernari

From the episode Put your head on my shoulder:

Zapp to his date: "But baby, you never showed me your surprise!”


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Willie Sat, February 11, 2006 - 8:23 PM by Willie

"It's an emergency, sir."

"Come back when it's a catastrophe!"

*CRASH*

"Ohhh very well."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Jeff Sat, February 11, 2006 - 8:25 PM by Jeff

"Kif! Show them the medal I won."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Jeff Sat, February 11, 2006 - 8:26 PM by Jeff

"Lower...lower...lower...TO LOW!...lower"
In the shower with kif.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Sat, February 11, 2006 - 10:13 PM by Unsubsc...

"I've never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about!"

This has seemed a very apt quote on many occasions over the past few years...


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

alphawhun Mon, February 13, 2006 - 10:35 PM by alphawhun

"I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan, at your service"

from amazon women in the mood when talking about basketball "Stop, you're killing me. <THUD> STOP! You're KILLING me!"

"she's built like a steakhouse, but drives like a bistro!"

"you're a man's man, you're a man's man's man!"

"Fly the white flag of war"

I think that sums up my favs.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Tue, February 14, 2006 - 8:16 PM by Unsubsc...

I saw a conversation heart candy today that simply said "hello". My first thought was of the guys on the neutral planet.

"If I don't make it, tell my wife I said ... hello. "


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

DCreader Wed, February 15, 2006 - 1:48 PM by DCreader

I admit I've quoted Zap and referred to my bedroom "... or as I like to call it, the Lovenasium." It worked better for Zap.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Edward Wed, February 15, 2006 - 1:55 PM by Edward

That's it -- I'm putting a sign on the bedroom door labelling it "The Lovenasium".


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Grey Thu, February 16, 2006 - 5:11 AM by Grey

<<< "Would you like some sham-pag-nee-ah?" >>>

Leela: "I didn't know you were such a coin-a-suir."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Jeff Mon, February 20, 2006 - 11:14 PM by Jeff

I just watched the Titanic episode, and two quotes had me rolling... again!

"She's a beautiful ship alright. Shapely. Seductive. I'm gonna Fly Her Brains Out!"

-walking up to Leela and Fry kissing-
"Leela, perhaps this is an ackward time, but if things don't work out with this pipsqueak here, I want you to know that I'll be there to score you on the rebound."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Ray Mon, February 20, 2006 - 11:40 PM by Ray

"Brannigan's law is a lot like brannigans love, Hard and fast"


Leela: "You know Zapp, someone ought to teach you a lesson."
Zapp: "If it's a lesson in love, watch out! I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?"
Kif: *sigh* "Sexlexia."

(the best part is Kif's sigh... *G*)


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Edward Tue, February 21, 2006 - 4:59 AM by Edward

Kif's sigh is ALWAYS the best part.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Tue, February 21, 2006 - 5:14 AM by Unsubsc...

Kif reminds me a lot of me when I had a similarly pompous & oblivious asshole for a boss.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Habobi Thu, March 2, 2006 - 12:50 PM by Habobi

"I'll be all over you like a fly on some very seductive manure..."

Oh what a charmer he is.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Eggman Fri, March 3, 2006 - 4:36 PM by Eggman

"that's whatever you were talking about for you..."

"It's real Velour, let yourself go.."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Aeon Thu, March 16, 2006 - 4:38 AM by Aeon

Soon, you'll be back for a taste of sweet, sweet candy....


BAM.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Fri, March 17, 2006 - 2:50 AM by Unsubsc...

Hehe, nice quotes, it's getting difficult...let's see..


"And now for the battle plan. As you all know, the key to victory is the element of surprise.

....Surprise!!" (pushes the button of the trapdoor)


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Jakob Sun, May 28, 2006 - 1:00 PM by Jakob

This quote is from the episod "Amazon women in the mood"

"Damn gravity... you again!"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Cherubic Thu, June 1, 2006 - 11:08 AM by Cherubic

C'mon girdle....hold...

also, "leela, does the company that makes your bra make a girdle as well? I'm asking cuz a friend of mine..."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Rebecca Thu, June 1, 2006 - 2:15 PM by Rebecca

Shoving Kif to the side on the karaoke stage-----"All right amatuer hour's over. Let me show you why they call me the Velour Fog...."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

krayg Fri, June 2, 2006 - 9:56 PM by krayg

Kif, I'm headed to the men's room and I'll be needing an attendant so-- Oh, I'm sorry. You're crying like a woman. "


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Ira Wed, June 7, 2006 - 12:46 PM by Ira

"Feel that, Kif. That's crushed velvet" (Showing off his new uniform)


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Phill Fri, March 9, 2007 - 3:11 AM by Phill

My favorite quote by zap , bar none, just has to be in 'Kif gets knocked up a notch'.

ATTILA THE HUN: Wait! don't shoot fire stick in space kanoe! cause explosive decompression!

ZAP: Spare me your space-age techno-babble Attila the Hun

Makes me giggle everytime i hear it!!


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Skye Mon, March 12, 2007 - 8:50 PM by Skye

Zap: "These would be great with some gwack-a-mole!"

Lrrr: "It is pronounced 'guacamole'. And stop eating our young!"

From "The Problem with Popplers", one of the better episodes.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Greg Tue, March 27, 2007 - 4:29 PM by Greg

Funny! I love that episode.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Greg Tue, March 27, 2007 - 4:31 PM by Greg

My favorite was- " We're sure its a women this time? Right Kif."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

ki-ren Fri, March 30, 2007 - 1:44 PM by ki-ren

That young man fills me with hope. And some other emotions that are weird and
deeply confusing. lol


Oh God, you're killing me. OH GOD YOU'RE KILLING ME!


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Sasch Mon, April 30, 2007 - 1:57 PM by Sasch

We had snoo snoo..


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

anth² Fri, June 15, 2007 - 12:43 AM by anth²

[Scene: Wheel Room. Comets are zooming around all over the place outside the ship.]

Kif: Sir, remember your course correction?
Zapp: No.
Kif: Well it's proving somewhat more suicidal than we'd initially hoped.
Zapp: Kif old friend I don't know which disgusts me more. Your cowardice or your stupidity! We'll simply set a new course for that empty region over there. Near that black-ish hole-ish thing.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

David Thu, July 26, 2007 - 5:31 PM by David

Now that's a wave of destruction thats easy on the eyes.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

ROb Tue, August 7, 2007 - 8:53 AM by ROb

A friend wanted me to put this one up:


"Crawling back like a bird on it's belly...delicious."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Wed, August 15, 2007 - 1:18 PM by Unsubsc...

How did I defeat the killbots, simple, I sent wave after wave of my own men knowing full well that eventually the killbots would reach there kill limit and shut down.

and

Lela, could you ask a bit more sexfully


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

MaryEllen Wed, August 15, 2007 - 4:05 PM by MaryEllen

Zap: One day a man has everything.
The next day he blows up a 400 billion dollar space station,
and the next day he has nothing.
It makes you think.

Kiff: No, it doesn't.


love all-ways,
mem


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Goulet Fri, August 31, 2007 - 9:06 PM by Goulet

"Let fly the white flag of war"

"and that Kif is why you'll never be captain"

"its real velour"

"they call me The Velour Fog"

"ahh pre-war scotch"

"it was simply a matter of outsmarting them...so i sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they each hit their preset kill limit and self destructed."

"anyways it was mostly kiffs fault"

The Zapper is without a doubt my favorite cartoon character of all time. so much that i sometimes refer to myself in the third person as "The Velour Fog"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Sat, September 1, 2007 - 11:36 AM by Unsubsc...

It goes without saying Zap is everyone's favorite character. We made him president twice.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Matt Fri, December 21, 2007 - 9:06 AM by Matt

You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shut down.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Ronzoni Wed, January 23, 2008 - 8:35 PM by Ronzoni

Fry: Uhh, just so we know: who‘s the enemy?”

Brannigan: “A valid question. We know nothing about their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this: they stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks!”


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Ronzoni Wed, January 23, 2008 - 8:50 PM by Ronzoni

Couldn't resist posting one more :P

Zapp: "So, this Leela, I know she's a very sensuous woman, but what manner of captain is she?"

Fry: "She's very strict."

Bender: "And mean."

Z: "I see, does she by any chance give the crew members spankings?"

F: "No, she just makes us do work and stuff."

Z: "Good, good. But should she ever institute some sort of bare bottom spanking policy, let me go in your place. I won't have my comrades harmed."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Xak Tue, January 29, 2008 - 12:55 PM by Xak

Zapp: You know, boys, a good captain needs abilities like boldness, daring and a good velour uniform, and I'm not convinced Leela has ANY of those things.


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Al Sat, February 16, 2008 - 5:26 PM by Al

I cant believe nobody's posted this one yet...

"If I said you had a nice body, would you take your pants off and dance a little?"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

diego Mon, March 24, 2008 - 9:37 PM by diego

top 3
" Kiff I m heading to the restroom, and I ll be needing an assistant.....Oh, sorry, you re crying like a woman "

" May I say you are the most amazing trio of gigantic ladies I ve ever seen... "

" Yes!! it was in all the papers! "


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Xak Tue, April 1, 2008 - 8:26 AM by Xak

Zapp:" Hmm, 198 billion babies in a few weeks, we'll need an army of super virile men scoring round the clock! I'll do my part, Kif, clear my schedule"

Kif:" Argh" (shakes Etch-A-Sketch)


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

IAN Sun, April 27, 2008 - 9:46 AM by IAN

Branigan's Law. What law Kif?

*sigh* Branigan's Law sir

hahaha the sigh rocks


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

IAN Sun, April 27, 2008 - 4:53 PM by IAN

Zapp: That's the problem with these nuetrals, you never know where they stand. DAMN THEIR NUETRALITY


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

IAN Sun, April 27, 2008 - 4:55 PM by IAN

Zapp: Where is the umbrella Kiff? Thats what makes it a whisky on the rocks


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Gary the No-Trash Cougar Tue, April 29, 2008 - 1:05 AM by offlineGary th...

From WAR IS THE H WORD:

"Watch where you're shooting, private. You spooked Felicity. There, there, boy."

Felicity?!?!?


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

rert Thu, May 1, 2008 - 4:15 PM by rert

Zap. "Kif, have the boy lay out my formal shorts."
Kif: "The boy, sir?"
Zap: "You, Kif. You lay out my formal shorts."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

rert Thu, May 1, 2008 - 4:17 PM by rert

forgot this one
"Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

ROb Fri, May 2, 2008 - 8:39 AM by ROb

"You'll be negotiating with the balls mysterious leaders, the Brain Balls. They've got a lot of brains, and they've got a lot of chutzpah... "


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

IAN Fri, May 2, 2008 - 6:27 PM by IAN

Zapp:the lady Leela
Professor:you two know eachother
Leela:Yes we've met
Bender:Was the before or after you slept with him



hahahahahaha


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

matthew Tue, June 24, 2008 - 3:42 AM by matthew

He's got some of the best lines in the show but my favourites are:

"She looks like a steak house but she handles like a bistro"

and

"April thirteenth…point two. We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? [pause] Kif, I'm asking you a question"!


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Lucas Tue, July 8, 2008 - 8:41 PM by Lucas

"Don't be such a baby, Kif. Teenagers all smoke and they seem pretty on the ball."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

droop Thu, July 10, 2008 - 10:58 PM by droop

"STOP EXPLODING YOU COWARDS!"


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Charles Fri, February 12, 2010 - 12:45 PM by Charles

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"

"Look who's come crawling back like a bird on its belly."


Re: Favorite Zap Brannigan Quotes

Dante Mon, June 7, 2010 - 10:57 AM by Dante

My favorite is "stop blowing up you cowards."